Overall comments

Collaboration- It’s good to see the collaboration between you and Vicky. The video culmination- there’s a lot in there. The pace is working but does need some editing. But it’s great that the focus of water as the theme is allowing the collaboration to be fruitful.

The next stage you mention both of you submerging in the water. Your intentions seem spiritual whilst also being destructive to holy human interactions. This can be performed with fast and slow meditative pace and speeds to represent these feelings. Don’t overwhelm it with too many montages of imagery. 

2nd draft CR- I have annotated the review. The main points are that the contexts of Above and Below are unclear so the reader is lost. Right from the onset, make sure you are outlining the exact subject you are exploring. 

The title- “Does the surface within Above and Below represent a stable boundary, a place of conflict or the collapse of hierarchical distinction?- OF WHAT? ” – there are 3 main areas of discussion here- do you need to reduce it? 

You have identified these and broken them down but they need some context. Sometimes you veer off to other unessential contexts, for example, politics- be careful. How does this link in with your overarching themes? There needs to be an umbrella term that encompasses the three main points- e.g. materiality. 

Latest work- good to see you interact with the water more and with time and duration. Leaving it for 24 hours has clearly made a physical change. This represents the ever changing flooding processes. Great to see you interact with the locals. Make sure this is documented well for the public-facing element of the unit. 

Next piece- work on an organic rip of a fabric, something that is more torn, not so geometrical and it could be larger. 

-do a version where you are swimming with it and someone videos it

-a version on a hook attached to the back of a paddle board with a Go-Pro

Make videos which show the interaction of the piece is the water. Show the movement, the motion, the swimming, the immersion, the submergence. You are now extending the process of how the materiality acts with the water. 

Student notes and reflections 

CR – Telling me the review is for someone who doesn’t know my work has completely made me understand how to restructure the writing. I will have a look at the title, and make it clearer that it is about Above/Below/the surface and the liminal place in between.

Water Collaboration. Vicky and I will edit the piece to slow up some parts of the video and linger on some of the images, as some are ‘heavier’ than others. Pace, and let them breathe.

We talked about the next stage and went through the notes that Vicky and I have written. With the next video use different speeds, representing feelings, slower, faster, meditative.

The wings Vicky and I will make, relating to our own practises. 

Course work. The practical work from this part has gone well and leaving the piece for 24 hours was a good move, highlighting the deterioration and the physical changes the water made over that period of time.

Images are better now that the viewer can see the whole vista. Add to this project by making a video of the piece in the lake on its own and me swimming with it.

Really good that I spoke to some people finally making the work site specific, do more of this.

The next piece will still carry the Above and Below theme but will be more organic in its shapes and with natural rips and tears, and deterioration caused by the water and the natural elements. The videos are the art, to see the piece swimming.

 When documenting and recording make the work with me in the shots and also just the fabric moving on its own, maybe pull along with a fishing line or similar. More interaction with the water.

Action points

• CR- The main ideas are there now so it’s time to elaborate on your main points with contexts, quotes, evidence and an umbrella theme so it is more focused. E.g. materiality
• It would be very beneficial for assessment to have videos of the work in the water. There are more vistas of the land but because the action words for the piece is based on movement, immersion and motion, the static photographs do not justify them enough.